Zanild's Testimony

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In 1981, the Lord Jesus Christ (Yeshua ha Mashiach) appeared to me and spoke to me. His heart of love and the holiness of His presence completely changed my life. Over the years it has been a common occurrence for the Lord to just "show up" in a cloud of glory and speak to me in this personal way. Time and time again, the holiness of His presence has consumed me.

 

Night and day the desire to worship Him compelled my very being. I would soon be enveloped by His presence, laid prostrate, unable to move under the heavy weight of His Holiness. In those times of worship the Lord healed my heart of past wounds, set me free from mental and emotional torment, and taught me how worship can bring His Holy tangible presence and how “He Alone”, is the answer, the revival we are all seeking. He became my “Wonderful Counselor, My Prince of Peace, and My Most Precious and Beloved Bridegroom."​

 

One cannot experience the holiness of God's presence and walk away unchanged. In these times of worship with Him, we undergo a profound transformation from within. This transformation of attaining His image and likeness is our true calling.

 

I began singing when I was very young, studied music and voice in college, then became involved in the music ministry in a local fellowship. I spent many years as a worship leader, theater arts director, dance ministry director and became involved in various choirs and Christian bands. 

 

It was during the times of leading worship that I began to feel the Lord's heart. 

 

I wish I could say that I felt joy from Him, but more often, it was grief and sadness. Being in worship I would be overwhelmed by weeping. I began to inquire of the Lord why I felt this way. He revealed to me how we had invited Him in worship, we called out for His presence, but “repeatedly” hindered and quenched the moving of His Spirit and did not know it. We would stop worship before He could reveal Himself as He desired. Words cannot convey the pain I felt from Him, how deeply His heart was grieved.

 

He revealed to me that we were never asking Him what pleases Him in worship. As worship leaders, we put together our song lists. We “assumed” that our worship pleased Him. This “assumption” is idolatry. (Read 1 Sam 15:22,23)

 

For over 40 years I have sat beside the Lord in the Secret Place at His feet where He has taught me critical details about worship; what pleases Him in worship and what grieves, hinders and quenches the moving of His Spirit. 

 

In this precious place of intimacy with Him, He shares with me the secrets of His heart. I have been blessed to see as He sees and to feel His heart's desires for His people. As I sit with Him He reveals to me in critical detail where He is calling His people, His church, and His overall kingdom purpose. It is in this place that I also see the plans and tactics of the enemy that are hindering and blocking God’s people from attaining the blessings God has for them. 

 

I have felt His joy, and have also felt the pain of His heart in grievous intercession. As He reveals to me His desires I have wept alongside Him for His people to know Him in a much deeper measure. How He longs for His people to truly seek Him with all of their being, to know Him as their beloved bridegroom. His desires have become an intense burden and overwhelming longing to teach God’s people worship through God’s eyes. This burden has shaped the vision for Elohai Conservatory of Worship.

 

We are living in the days of Ezekiel 34 where the Lord is replacing leaders in His church. He is replacing the current Levite "man-centered, man-pleasing ministry to the people" with Zadok Priests who have an uncompromising spirit and minister "to the Lord" in holiness, virtue, and the fear of the Lord. (Ezekiel 44)

 

I have felt the Lord’s jealous anger and how His heart becomes grieved with disobedient church leaders. Many leaders have strayed from following Jesus and His teachings which has resulted in the gross negligence of God's people. God wants to minister to His people. He wants His people cared for. He wants so much to reveal His presence among us, but we must seek Him to bring us understanding and knowledge to see through “His eyes”. We must understand His holiness. He is waiting for us to ask to know His desires, to ask what pleases Him.

 

We must ask Him to teach us “how” to worship (not only in spirit), but honor His desires and seek how to please Him. Seeking to understand what pleases Him in worship, is the beginning of worship “in truth”.   John 4:24

 

The bride that Jesus is seeking is a bride who lives to please her bridegroom and is doing all that is necessary to make herself ready for Him. How does the Lord reveal His pleasure? By showing up in all of His splendor and majesty. He longs to pour out His pleasure upon His people. The God of Heaven, The Creator, The King in all His glory and splendor is seeking those who will prepare a habitation for His Holy presence “in and among” us. He is searching for those who truly want Him more than anything else. 

 

The trumpet is sounding...the Lord is calling those who will raise the standard to prepare the way for His coming. Jesus wants to reveal Himself but He needs us to truly want Him. How much do we truly hunger for Him? To know Him, to understand His ways. To know what pleases Him and to know what hinders the moving of His Spirit. We MUST allow the Lord to teach us what invites the Holiness of His presence. We cannot continue to expect God to bless our ignorance.

 

​We cannot look back or look to others for keys for reformation, we must look to the Lord and ask Him to teach us what brings pleasure to Him. We must seek Him regarding what brings delight to His heart and attracts His presence. Then, as He begins to teach us, we must continue to follow His lead. I cannot tell how crucial this is.

 

Our Father deserves perfect praise and pure worship in the "Beauty of Holiness."  He wants to teach us!

 

Seeking His heart is the answer, and obedience is the key!  We must learn from Him what is holy and also what quenches, grieves, or hinders the moving of His Spirit. Far too many are looking back to past revivals, reading books, and seeking others before going directly to the Lord and asking Him. He has given to us His Spirit to teach and train us, He is the perfect teacher, when we listen and obey Him He reveals Himself and is then glorified among us.

 

The Lord will not share the secrets of His heart with acquaintances or those who stand at a distance. He shares the secrets of His heart, ONLY with His entrusted Bride.

 

Can the Lord trust you with the secrets of His heart? How much do you value His thoughts, His desires? How much do you value the treasures of His heart? We can fast and pray, we can cry out to God loudly from a mountain top. Often God sees these outward efforts as vanity. 

 

We have wasted our time and God is not pleased. Why? Because He has already examined the motives of our hearts. WARNING: When we assume our ways are pleasing to Him... this assumption (our own ideas) is idolatry. God is looking for those who will STOP, draw near to Him, seek His heart's desires, listen intently, be taught, and then obey Him.

 

When He shows up in the beauty of His holiness, and we become completely "undone" in His presence…We realize that “He alone” is the revival we are seeking!

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Update: After 7 years of ministering on the Continent of Africa to God's leaders I am happy to announce I am settled back in Idaho spending time with family and looking forward to all the Lord has next. 

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Blessings and Shalom,

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Zanild Abarrane​

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​Zanild Abarrane bat Tsadak ha Kohein (Hebrew)

(Zanild mother of many, daughter of Zadok of Aaron)

 

aka: Cynthia M. Dexter (Cindi)

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Nickname: Dance Warrior